Its not a Poem
Today when I look back..
Look back at the life that I have lived..
Look back at the things that I have did..
Look back at the friends that I have made..
Look back at the foes that came on the way..
Look back at the battles that I have fought..
A feeling of discontent runs through my body and plays with my mind..
It pokes me, bites me and kills me bit by bit, minute by minute..
It forces me to question..
Question my decisions,question my choices,question my voices..
Today When I look at the present..
The feeling is still not better..
The same discontent still surrounds..
The same questions are still so loud..
I search for answers but all in vain..
I search for solutions but without any gain..
I search for happiness but all that I find is pain..
I feel that my life is a maze with only dessert and no rain..
And today as I look into the future..
My mind paints a picture..
a picture so very beautiful..So full of life and colourful..
A picture which I had painted for myself when I first dreamt..
A picture which should have been my past and my present
And a picture which I know would NEVER be my future..
start painting a picture you think is possible then.. why waste time and eenergy .. and mostly your heart over something which you think will never ever be true.. and if the answer is hope.. then cling on that weak thread and hope against the hope! ... either you will have that painted world true in front of you or you will have that weak thread broken.. in any case you will know what to do next!..
ReplyDelete(its not impractical i suppose.. its the way to be learn being indifferent.. indifferent not to any random things but to the troubles in hand and go ahead on the direction that is most wanted)
I am not painting a new picture!I am working towards the same picture but just with new colours this time and with a new vision!I know that the picture will come out well and I dont mind a few changes here and there! And as far as hope is concerned I have always held it so tightly that now even it also feels suffocated now and is finding new destination!!But this time I know I will do it without Hope!Its a new year!So am starting afresh from scratch!
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as being indifferent is concerned I dont know what I want!It was just a venting out of some emotions!Being indifferent is not easy as it takes you away from people and I dont know if I actually want it!
ReplyDeleteIm confused!sigh!!
comment one - you have the answers of the particular post
ReplyDeletecomment two- i dont know what to say! (literally) .. cause being indifferent myself i dont feel connected to say anything suitable (i just know how to comment/ bemuse myself) (and i hope you got the context this time :-P)